RELATIONSHIPS -PART TWO[COUPLES]


Hello y'all
Welcome everybody! HAPPY TUESDAY( favorite day of the week hehehehe)
So today's blog is continuing yesterday's post and if you haven't read it you can scroll down and check it out. 
NOTE: this is my experience and what I've learned on my own terms and observing couples close to me and I'm not going to go in detail with their relationships because I'm not in their relationship hahahaha so yeah. Also this will be sooooo long and I might repeat myself---speaking from the heart. This is hard to write because it's personal and it involves others who were in my life and ones that are still in my life and I can't speak for them.
ANOTHER NOTE: I'm not a life coach, therapist, doctor, relationship counselor and etc. If you need/seek help you can call your local doctor or therapist.
OK LAST NOTE: I am here though to help-––––with the best that I can. I don't know everything. My attention is not to hurt anyone or put someone down, I'm here to empower you to live a more happy & peaceful life. 
There is various of relationships and today I will talk about a couples relationship. Boy & Girl, Man & Woman, Man & Man, Woman & Woman whatever floats your boat. You can love and date whoever you want. Who Am I to tell you who you could or couldn't Be with. I have gay friends and they are amazing! Do your thing!
Every since I could remember I always thought about Love and what a relationship was between two people/lovers. I wasn't explained much about it so being me I went out to find out for myself.  I've had a few boyfriends not many but hey I guess you can say I'm a hopeless romantic but lately I've been thinking on that word, it's not that I have less hope but I believe it will happen------ ok I'm super duper romantic there ha. Man does God know boy oh boy He knows hahahahaha. So I'm very hopeful hahahaha.
So yes I've learned quiet a few things...... It has made me grow into the Woman I am today. I am still hoping to this very day I meet my best friend, partner, future husband, father to my children and the love of my life OF COURSE in one man. I warned you hahahaha but it's not always on my mind kinda ok most of the time but it's not overpowering my thoughts it's just lately it's made me think a lot and I'm like ok ok calm down when the time is right He will come wherever in Gods perfect timing. Love is such a huge part of me like really really huge it's even the meaning for my name.....as I've been building my relationship with God I'm not anxious about when it will happen and I just trust God on his timing that it will happen and I don't stress myself. I'm enjoying myself right now not that I wouldn't enjoy myself more with the love of my life. I can't say I'm not ready yet because there is no such thing as being read,there is a right time but I know there is a season for everything and there are just a few things I'd like to do on my own. One being on facing some fears of mine. I do want to get married and my Pinterest Board knows that well too hahahaha but I'm enjoying my life right now I don't want to lose myself in someone else. 
So this brings me to my previous relationship which honestly wasn't long ago------ya I haven't forgot about it but I have moved on. Don't ever want to be in that relationship and I did think I was going to marry him. I would have been so unhappy not that he wasn't a nice guy but there were a lot of things not right in our relationship. I do wish him the best but I'm not hurt or looking back it's my past and I shall move on to myself and importantly the man I will marry. I don't want to talk bad about my ex because we had some good times but like I said this is my experience and I can't speak for him because I'm not him.......... I left because one I put him before God and your thinking wow really and ya I didn't notice at first because I had fallen for him and not for the right reasons. I discovered this when I felt I was losing myself, no empowerment. I was being super nice which I am I'm really nice but something's I told myself if I'm in this situation I'm out and I didn't, I gave in again not for the right reasons.  I was putting him before myself most of the time.
Which I should add ya it's ok to think of your love first sometimes but never let yourself go. I was settling for what it was and hoping it would get better and for him to change which he wasn't. He's who he is. LADIES & GENTLEMAN-–-- BOYS& GIRLS.......DONT SETTLE FOR OK, YOU DESERVE THE BEST. Second he disrespected me many times which lead to God speaking to me on RESPECT and in loud clear words, which made me upset with myself because i'm all about RESPECT & LOYALTY. So God spoke to me and said that if put him(the ex) before God I would continue to be disrespected---yup not once but twice in bible study and someone close to me said to me not knowing I was doing that. Don't mess with God y'all he knows you better than yourself. Third no real communication and sacrifice on his end not everything was his fault because I let it happen. Next, I deserved better. I had the power to control my life and feelings and I let him control it like I said I let myself go although not everything but a lot yes.
I thought I really loved him but I discovered that I really didn't and He keep telling me I didn't and when he did, it upset me because I'm all about love and that made me feel like I wasn't a good girlfriend.....but he was right, I didn't love him and I was a good girlfriend yes I could have done some things better but overall a great girlfriend hahahaha; I would date myself but let's be real that would be boring and weird not that i'm boring but imagine hahahaha. I didn't love or like his flaws and I've learned that when you love someone you don't disrespect yourself and you love their flaws you don't have to like there flaws but you love them because it's a part of them and they can't change. 
I thank God so very berry much for opening my eyes and with that I learned FIVE relationships 
1: God 2:Self 3: Couples 4:FAMILY 5:Friends
There is going to be people who know you like really know you and warn you but let you learn on your own and there will be people who know you or don't and want to test you and ultimately take you away from that relationship. I found out during this relationship who I could be myself with----let me learn and thank you I love you even more and you know who you are if your reading this. I'm here for you through the good and bad too always!
Ok, so your wondering did it take me long to get over that relationship and honestly No more than a week and maybe your thinking that's crap well I'm only being honest. God had opened my eyes a month before and that's when I just observed and in that time God was preparing me and comforting me. I'm not saying it wasn't hard to end it because it was so hard it took me a while to end it. At times I just wanted to end it through a text or call but that's wildly cowardly and I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me either which has and it sucked I'd prefer in person. I'd rather be hurt with the truth than comforted with a lie. I'm respectful more now than ever. I'm not saying after I cried and eating chocolate (because I did) that I wiped my tears and said woo come over fellows um NO, ALTHOUGH SOME PEOPLE WERE TRYING TO HOOK ME UP  BUT I'm not that type of woman please I'm only looking for one great MAN. I DONT PLAY GAMES HONESTLY IM TIRED OF DATING. IF THE RIGHT GUY COMES I do want to take the time to get to know him not rush things. After a month I was getting on my bible daily devotionals----of a love that will last for a lifetime. Then made me think about THE ONE again but I didn't let it over power me when it's the time like I said it will happen I'm not forcing it. I'm glad I kept getting them because I'm prepared not completely just enjoying the moments but it got me to this point of writing this today. Preparing me on the kind of relationship I want with a man. 
So ya it hurt like a jsjdjfuejdjdk hahahaha but God gave me the time to cry my heart out and then when I cried all that I needed to because I felt like such a failure; I learned I did all I could and nothing more and stop beating myself on how could I let that happen to me that it happens to the best of us. I'm one to see what I did and what I could fix but there wasn't any more fixing but letting go and enjoying life. After all the tears I forgave myself and him in prayer and that's when I felt at peace and everything around me was brighter and omgosh LIKE SUPER DUPER HAPPY. I started hustin on my dreams and I still am. 

I KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT THIS IS MY STORY AND I HOPE THIS HELPS SOMEONE.
RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD WORK and you don't have to be ready to get into one and sometimes you go into one to learn a lesson, I sure did and not just one but many but I don't regret it. It made me stronger and a better woman for myself, family and friends and last but not least my future husband.

Relationships require Respect, Communcation, Understanding, Acknowledgment, Love, Trust, Balance, Care, Scarifice(not one to bring hurt to yourself or others but giving & not expecting much in return), Forgiveness( letting things go), Team work, Friendship, intimacy, there might be more but this is what I know. I'm not an expert on relationships. I took a risk getting into my previous relationship but I wouldn't have learned and I wouldn't have grown. If you really know what you want go for it don't settle for anything less and if your willing to go into a relationship to find what it is you want; don't settle for ok, don't lose yourself and know you it hurt to end a relationship but don't expect much but do what's best for you. This is your life don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
LIKE ELIZABETH GILBERT SAYS "there will always be times when we try genuinely for something and end up feeling disappointed. It means that you were willing to take a risk. Even though the pain can hurt I hope you remember that it's a good sign because it shows you care. It's a reflection of all the love you have inside of you. Love fearlessly and bravely with all your heart."

 Don't go into a relationship to replace someone or to find love. Love yourself and go from there.
If your in an abusive relationship either emotional(which I was in), physical(Somewhat also, But didn't continue very long but definitely seek help or go to the police if your partner hurts you.....ANYONE WHO LOVES YOU SHOULD NOT EVER HURT YOU OR PUT YOU IN DANGER OF LOSING YOUR LIFE...WELL IN GENERAL NOBODY SHOULD EVER BEAT YOU....SO DEFINITELY seek help or get out as soon as you can. YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS.

OK ever since I could remember I observed everything and the most was the relationship of my parents and it wasn't till years later that I noticed it did affect me especially not having my dad although he was in my life he emotionally wasn't there for me....it wasn't in till college I figured that out but then I realized I didn't want to be with anyone like my dad and why was I putting him before me. I'll go in more detail on tomorrow's post. When I did realize what was going on I learned to let it go and I become more at peace. I wasn't going to let someone make me bitter or feel like they had to complete me. God completes me. Recently my bestie told me a metaphor about relationships and I LOVED IT, although the woman was created by a man's rib(I believe this you don't and that's ok) she said you don't need a man to complete you and not to say he isn't a part of you but your a painting a masterpiece and God painted you there is only one of you and a man is a frame, he brings out the best in you makes you even more beautiful and he holds you together, he enhances your beauty like a frame to a painting or a frame to a photograph. Wow, when she said that I was in awe and it's true. In a relationship, you should empower each other; letting you be you but bringing structure and more beauty. Ok although I've never been married and time from time I've been told that in a marriage there will be disagreements but you have to come to an understanding and respect each other---- to work things out. My parents relationship wasn't a respected one but that didn't stop me from dreaming and hoping for my future husband not that when I was young I wanted to get married but I was positive that I wanted a respected relationship filled with so much love with a man that together we grow in every age in our life. 
Then there was the relationship with my sister not twin sister( I don't have a twin but she's very close) hahaha and her husband they started friends and although I saw it before them that they were going to get married they let it be natural and they got to know each other then got married. They have an awesome relationship with communication and respect and love and the most amazing pug ever lol I don't know their whole relationship but I respect their relationship and their love gives me hope and confirms on how relationships and love are beautiful.
No relationship is perfect and ultimately my parents nongreat one made us(my brothers and sisters) to still believe and learn what it is to have a great relationship and importantly, I Thank God it made our relationship as brothers and sisters very very close and my moms and I too. I love my family. Three are happily married and they all inspire me. 
I've seen relationships/marriage that there is respect with each other that their children respect each other and have an amazing open relationship with their parents.
A relationship is like a Ship(RELATION-SHIP)...... You have to relate on some things, the ship moves up and down and  you have to work as a team and figure out what works and what doesn't and what doesn't you use better strategies, learn that there will be storm's but it's working together and being calm through the storm and ultimately enjoying the journey & empowering each other for a stronger relationship.

Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Who will be your best friend. The only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter the circumstances. It's not always about sex(although sex is great, I'm not going to lie but girls and boys really wait for the right time and or person don't forget to use protection) sometimes the best type of intimacy is where you just lay back, laugh together at the dumbest things, hold each other, and enjoy each other's company. Go for someone who is not only proud to have you, but will take every risk just to keep you. Yes, your allowed to set boundaries and yes you are allowed to leave without apologizing, if they don't respect you. 
A strong relationship requires choosing to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other.
Never allow your happiness depend on a relationship. I think it's a very special thing to find love. It's beautiful! Nothing can match it but make sure you find other things in life that you love besides your love. Be true to you! Know your Worth because YOU ARE WORTHY!
I KNOW THIS WAS VERY LONG MORE LIKE A BOOK HUH BUT LIKE I SAID THIS IS WAS EXPERIENCE AND I DONT THINK I SAID EVERYTHING BUT NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE SAID TO GET TO A POINT.
ALSO DON'T COMPARE YOUR PARTNER WITH YOUR PREVIOUS PARTNERS
THEY ARE YOUR EXS BECAUSE THEY ARE AN EXAMPLE OF WHO YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH.
TEND TO YOU FIRST AND ATTRACT THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE WITH WITH FIRST ENJOYING YOURSELF
I HOPE MY STORY HAS HELPED YOU
 WISHING YOU LOTS OF LOVE FROM MY HEART TO YOURS
XO AMANDA BERNADETTE 



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© THE PURSUIT OF LOVE LIFE AND GLAMOR
Maira Gall